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Friday, October 25, 2019


                                            MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS

 Life ! They say its a gift, an opportunity.  I only see it as a curse, a dark pathway with no exit gate.  I want to quit this game called life. I have the flu, not the kind you can see that makes you jump between every sneeze.  But its there and it weighs me down everyday. Hi - I am I feel drowned with tiredness.. yet I can’t sleep I struggle through the night, and wake up with no feeling or emotion,  the energy i once had already drained[Sound of the metro train] I go to work and put on my best face I work so hard just to stay in the same place hey.. good morning guys! Good morning... I hope, reports will be completed today Yes, i am planning to finish it by today 4.. hmm 4:30 You need to understand this . I cant afford time validating your report sand  i don not want to see any errors this time.If you have any doubts, clarify it right away.I will..As i have a meeting, i wont be available for next 4 hour so  okay.. okay and one more thing. I hope you are ready for the presentation today  Yes.. . Good..Are you sure it will be completed by today He scares me, my manager Actually, its not him. He is a good guy.  Its me, who is always messing up. Time just flies. Or does it? My thoughts consume me.. I cannot anything done. I cant focus...I am useless...  I feel like throwing up. I need to calm down I need to breathe.  I am .  , so, I am useless So what? I am not going to worry anymore. Everyone will mock me.. Again.. I will fail.. yet again!do you want to take a coffee break They say the more you laugh, the more you live...  is it bad that I don’t even feel alive So guys.. this is the report of your work what you have done for the last 2 months So are you happy with this report?even the management is not happy with the report We were suppose ... [fades..] I am confident.. I am brave.. I am who I want to be. Have to completed within this month...  are you with me?... Yes Okay.. I hope you are ready with the presentation... then please So I talk about the marketing mix modeling today and.. hmm.. first I will give some introduction about it and then slowly.. and.... sorry... sorry sir.. Lies ... All lies...lies I tell myself to stop the racing thoughts in my head Start... What are you all thinking?  Stop... You’re nothing. You’re worthless. You will never be who you want to be. Run away, go hide, no one will care. I freeze... I see them stare, I know they’re laughing..  but I can’t hear them. I can’t hear anything,  I can’t feel anything. Make it stop.  Great. He noticed. What do I say?  I can’t open my mouth. It hurts.  I feel it now. Something pressing against my chest.  Something screaming in my ears. It keeps getting louder and louder.  I feel powerless and I don’t know how I overdose on the good life thinking It will make me feel better.  The pleasure is temporary.  I know it’s gonna come back. It’s simply waiting for the perfect time to attack. I hurt for years.  I’ve been crying for as long as I can remember. [crying] I hate you.. I hate you..[crying] I want to die[crying] I want to die Breathing has become an effort.  I want to forget, If that means leaving, then i want to leave.  I have been coping all this time,  but I’m exhausted.  I’m a ticking time bomb,  I can feel it coming.  I am done pretending everything is okay.  Save me or Kill me. Either one is fine One may choose not to remember me  May not recall me gazing up the sky When my foot steps will not be printed on this road, I shall not be there to row my little boat across this pier 

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